Dear Diary,

Well early in the morning got a text
and I'm posted to Early Childhood Education @ NP.

I dunno what to feel like happy or not.
Its like I don't mind it but I'm just afraid.

Okay so after the whole day of thinking
this is the plan :

I'm not going to appeal to any kinda other courses.
Cause I'm scared that if I appeal like so many times..
then I get the course..
and I regret taking the course so its like a bloody waste of time
so I might as well not appeal.

And if I want to further my studies.. I can always continue
the childhood thingy or go into business or comm studies.
So yeah I think thats the plan.

Insyallah my future will be fine.

Another reason why I don't want to appeal is cause
after I submitted the jae form,
I prayed and said to god : Please put me in the course that will be best for me

So I'm guessing this course will be best for me.

Well the only thing is that NP is quite far and my family is like:
"kau damai lambat ape lagi NP. you know you have to leave an hour earlier right?"

Yeah well I guess I'm taking that risk.

I just want wish all of my other friends/acquaintances
the best of luck for your future endeavors.
And to those appealing too. But if you don't get into the course of your choice
maybe it was just not meant to be and deal with it. This is life.
May we all still stay in contact.

I'll end of with this (actually it has nothing to do with the post but never mind la) :

"For a lot of straight guys - and I
know I'm guilty of it sometimes - when
you know a gay guy has a crush on you,
it is the most flattering thing "

- Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe

Haha so cute eh? And I think I kinda agree.
ciao.

Dear Diary,

Tuesday's surprise celebration for kakak Soleha was fun.

Dear Soleha [or anyone else that this applies to],

I have no book to read for 5 days already. Do not make me
suffer please. I need to know what happens after 7 vampires
looks at her.

I'm so friggin bored that I go to the extent of googling myself at
3 am in the morning.
So now the whole world knows how desperate I am.

XOXO,
Widad Thalib, The desperate one.

HAHAHAH

Oh you should try it. Googling your name etc.
Ummm in a few hours I'll know which school/course
im posted to. Exciting yet scary.

Well getting sleepy.
Gooknight.

Dear Diary,

Hah I know my previous post was random
but that's me.

Omg just now I had one of those farts.
Goddammit I cannot tahan siolzxzxzxxzxz.
HAHAHAHAHAH

I AM DISGUSTING.

Well Friday was dot dot dot
and Saturday evening was spent with Jimmy
owed him brownies and ice cream and ended up having starfucks.

Got my headphones like at last.
Okay its not very comfortable but whateverrrr laa.

Sunday was like seriously had nothing to do.
But it was funny.
Forcing my ambers to read twilight but hah cannot ah.
I SHALL NOT END MY QUEST! (lol!?!)

Well Chinese New Year to all you ppl who actually celebrate it.
And the rest enjoy the loong holiday and for us students
the never ending holiday.

Spent today(yesterday?) rotting away as usual.
Man I still cannot get the feeling of the book out of my head.

I want a boyfriend who drives a silver Volvo and stares at me with golden eyes
and still doesn't move an inch off the road. UWAAAAAAA.

I hate myself cause that day I was soooo the god damn gatal
type new moon and accidentally read the summary of new moon.
Stopped half way when i realised and was jumping slapping myself
at 11 pm.

hah. Man this addiction?crush? has got to stop.

That time at the train when i still have not finished the book
thought i could read it la
then I read two pages and the third page first line was something like:
He smiled the crooked smile etcetc..
wah seyh. I smiled laaaa
wtf alone in the mrt smile smile.
HAHAHAH i had to close the book and resist reading.

Stupid book stupid edward stupid bella for going to forks
stupid stephanie meyer for even having the dream which made her write the book.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! [hah im toootally contradicting here as you can see]

Well happy belated birthday Sol! I miss you I love you.
You've had your satu hari satu malam with edward, brad and eric
now they're safely back at my place [not!]

haha okay i think i better stop now or ill continue crapping.
So yeah till next time.

Dear Diary,

*warning random contents ahead*

I know the twilight fever is like over..
but I just started reading the book
and I'm not even finished and its damn good!!!
ljhfslfhgjlfhgfg

EDWARD CULLEN is soooo *ahhhhh*
hahhahhahahhaha

Man how I wish it was me he stroked his cold finger on jawline
or whatever it is.

kjfksjdfkjkdsjfkljklgfjhgf
I keep on smiling whenever I read the book.
Its like I'm excited over what!? nothing.
Bodoh betul.

Why is it that some people are just awesome writers?
Why is it that stories are rarely true?
Damn.

How I wish that there was a real Edward Cullen out there
Vamp or not.
*sigh*

Okay this is another random thing I want to say

Have you ever farted * yes i said fart you didn't read it wrong*
I'm sure all of you fart.
But have you ever farted such a smelly fart that you want to get away from yourself?

Hahah I have. And I'm not embarrassed to say it cause its human nature to fart.
Your not some Cullen to not fart.

Well sometimes it can get so stinky I want to run away from myself
to escape the smell.

Okay feeling a little embarrassed. Haha.

Yes told ya its random.
Well I'm off.
Later biatch.

Dear Diary,

Today I sinned.
I made my mother cry
and I didn't like it either.

The worst feeling/sight ever is to see your mother cry
especially knowing that you were the cause of her tears.

I'm sorry mommy.
Please don't cry anymore.

Well after this incident, I realise that I need change.
I need a new behavior hopefully for the better.

Well I'm going to try to : Be less Rude towards my elders
keep my comments that might hurt others to myself
Be more kind in actions and Speech.
Spend less money cause spending unnecessarily is also a sin
Do more good deeds
Listen and obey to elders cause i think they should know better

Well I dunno. Its just that maybe I am a good person.
But I hurt people a lot too.
Or maybe I'm really being pmssy and it will all go away as soon as the period comes.
Man i don't know.

____________________________________________________________________

Have you ever felt like your being ignored?
By your own friends and family?
And somehow it always ends up to be the same people.

I dunno if its me just being paranoid.. but i feel like I'm left out on things.
Well but its like it has happened more than once.
So maybe its not paranoia.

I don't need all eyes on me.
No I'm not seeking for attention.
But I'm seeking for attention just enough to be heard by someone
who actually cares.

Okay I still feel nothing and I hate it.

Dear Diary,

I need to pee
I'm scared
I need to pee
I'm very scared
I'm super worried
But yet i still want to know my results
I'M VERY SCARED LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
:[[[[[[[[[[[[[

I think I'm going to cry
well i think i deserve it la
who ask you not to study properly?
huh?

but deep in my heart/soul whatever la i am really hoping that a miracle happens.
hoping that i get my $500
but i don't think its possible.

Whatever happens..
I'm going to be happy/sad whatever but i think i will accept it.

I will take life as it is. Welcome it with open arms.

On a different note.
Hair is medium ash brown
Sister is flying off in less than 24hrs :[

FOR 7 MONTHS OKAY!?
well she may be annoying etc but i feel like we got closer and such.
so yeahh will be sad

I told her if she change and like turns out to be like my bro i will slap her face left right.
i better get some sleep
going to tp open house [prob]

I miss my friends i need money and i want to have fun while it lasts

WAAAAAAAAAAA I'm scared.
who wants to give this scared little girl in this big big world a hug?
any takers?
[i sound so pathetic]

for those who wants proof on the results :

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/400799/1/.html

Dear Diary,

My 31st started off slow.
Went to my grammys and met up with AMBERZXZXZXZ :D

time passed by realll slow. like really.
tried to make lyrics.
.........

It was 11 and we drove to the expressway.
2 cars, and we got lost.
but we turned to the side where we could see the fireworks.

Jam packed roads.
Radio was on and 25 seconds to the new year.
windows down
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

HAPPY NEW YEAR shouting
cars honking
shouted to neighbours in other cars
smses started pourin in.

fireworks were awesome possome

when the cars finally started movin again..
every soul that passed by us on the bridge got
a new year scream from us "HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRR WOOOOOOOOO CHEEERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![repeat again]"
one by one heads turned and they smiled
shouted back.

it was wicked.
went home and that was that.
but it was cool fun and funny.


New years day: woke up at 10 to make shabsuka
finished only at 1 ++.
met kods and dila at bedok
and we went to Botanical gardens.
it was wet. which sucked a little.

but the clouds cleared and one by one friends came
it was nice outing.

Friday
Bedtime stories/Picture taking
with kods and uzairah.

okay today stinks
hah went to a wedding which was
*dotsdotsdots*

went home and slept in front of the teevee.

I hope tmr turns out well.